


sun-kissed

by flying_dream



Series: fade me (devastate me) [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Except: make it soft, Friends With Benefits, Jeekies Appreciation, Lee Felix swears a lot, Let Jisung Say Fuck, M/M, Making Out, Strangers to Lovers, [bass boosted] Let Felix Say Fuck, because that is my Brand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26072806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flying_dream/pseuds/flying_dream
Summary: The thing about being with Felix is that it’s difficult to be anything other than completely comfortable around him. They just click. Whether it’s as friends or as something more, Jisung likes being around him and knows he feels the same way.So even though things have heated up both times they've spent an extended amount of time in each other’s presence, Jisung isn’t worried about it. It all just feels pretty inevitable.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Series: fade me (devastate me) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932256
Comments: 32
Kudos: 295





	sun-kissed

**Author's Note:**

> never thought i'd write this trope tbh but it kinda grabbed me by the throat and forced me to. this is the closest i've gotten to writing smut without actually writing smut bc i can't write smut to save my life and i don't want to lmao. also i have brought my usual brand of softness into this bc fuck it, i love soft dynamics!! especially when it's jilix!! they're pretty much made for softness.
> 
> cw: passing reference to casual drug use by others in a party scene

**Sun-Kissed**

Jisung hates parties.

Okay technically he doesn’t hate _all_ parties. He just hates the ones that most people throw in uni. Bodies crammed into one house, his t-shirt plastered to the small of his back, somewhat toxic concoctions of jungle juice in open bowls that have most certainly been dipped into by a body part that shouldn’t be anywhere near alcohol that is to be consumed. Students clamouring to get their hands on whatever drug has been brought to the party since drugs are cheaper than alcohol and pack a hell of a punch. Cameras out, people he doesn’t know tripping into him, the smell of sweat hanging heavy in the air. It’s straight out of a nightmare.

He prefers something much quieter. Pre-drinks with his friends before a night out, the buzz he feels in his veins less from whatever petrol-flavoured monstrosity was in the shot he was dared to knock back and more from the _vibes_. He prefers lounging around with his beers instead of being shoved into the centre of a knot of people he doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know.

If tonight’s party were anyone else’s, Jisung wouldn’t be here. But it’s Chan’s party and he’s celebrating an early offer he got for the masters’ programme he’s interested in so Jisung can’t just flake out on it. It doesn’t matter if this house is hosting so many people that they can’t even fit into the building – because _of course_ it is, of course Chan knows all of these people, who _doesn’t_ he know by this point. Jisung is Chan’s friend and he has to turn up.

To his credit, Chan handed him the key to his bedroom before the party really got into the swing of things and told Jisung that he’s always free to hide away there when things get too overwhelming for him.

Jisung manages a little over an hour before he makes his escape.

The second the bedroom door shuts behind him, it’s like his mind clears almost entirely. There’s still a little fogginess that hovers around the edges, but that’s because he knocked back a few drinks to try and loosen up downstairs. It’s nothing that will seriously impair him. But just having that barrier between himself and the rest of the chaos has every trace of tension seep away from his body and does wonders to ease his nerves. He sinks onto Chan’s bed with a deep sigh, limbs splayed across the mattress like a starfish.

He _really_ fucking hates parties.

It’s not that he can’t be social. Whenever he’s around people he’s comfortable with, he’s the loudest one in the room and it’s like he doesn’t know how to shut up. Minho used to tease him by saying his mouth runs away from him whenever he’s passionate about something. Coincidentally, Jisung never talks about anything he’s not passionate about.

But whenever he’s around people he doesn’t know like that, his entire personality shuts down. It’s as if there’s a wall between Jisung and the rest of the world, one he’s content to keep erect. His comfort zone has very specific, immovable borders and he’s more than okay with that.

Sighing to himself, Jisung fumbles for his phone and the earphones he shoved deep into the pocket of his jeans earlier today. The music they’ve been playing at the party is pretty shit – for such a talented producer, Chan’s music taste is so unbelievably heterosexual, but apparently that’s what gets drunk students going – and he’s had enough of it. He loads up one of his chiller playlists and lets himself float away on the melody, eyes slipping closed.

Five minutes into this, the bedroom door slams open and Jisung jerks up, startled out of his reverie. He opens his eyes just in time to see a figure stumble to the ground.

“ _Fuck_ ,” hisses a low voice. “That one fucking hurt.”

“Uh,” Jisung says, still sat on the bed. His palms are flat against the duvet cover and start to sweat in nervousness at the possible confrontation ahead. Fuck, he can’t believe he forgot to lock the damn door. “This room is off-limits.”

“Sorry,” the boy on the floor says. “I was looking for an en suite, the bathroom down the hall is occupied by someone very – loud.”

He hears the grimace in the stranger’s voice and comes to a swift conclusion on just why that is. Knowing whose party they’re at, Jisung figures it’s probably Hyunjin. There’s no way he won’t have gotten his hands on Changbin by now.

“That sucks, man,” Jisung offers. “But it’s still off-limits.”

The boy on the floor gets up then, dusting off his knees, and shifts into view. The light from the lamp illuminates the side of his face perfectly and – oh, shit. This isn’t a stranger. Technically speaking anyways. It’s – well, it’s Lee Felix.

Also known as the guy Jisung has had a crush on since last year.

It’s not a _huge_ crush. It’s more of a passing fancy than anything else. Besides, Jisung was kind of besotted with Minho last year, at least for the short duration of their very, very brief entanglement, so he didn’t really have the time or energy to have a fully-blown crush on Lee Felix. Not when they don’t really know each other like that. It’s just that they’ve been classmates in a few units here and there so Jisung is familiar with the other’s face and is self-aware enough to admit that he likes it.

Felix probably doesn’t even know who Jisung is. Granted, they were once put into the same group discussion for a seminar in Early Korean History last year, but Jisung doubts Felix remembers that. Jisung isn’t a very remarkable person.

Felix frowns at him, lips pushed into a pout. Jisung’s eyes flicker to them and then quickly dart away.

“But – “ Someone who has a voice that deep should not sound that adorable when upset. “Someone spilled their drink onto my shirt and I wanted to wash it out.”

“Oh. Well, in that case, it’s through that door over there.”

Jisung tells himself he’s just being a Good Samaritan when he lets Felix stay. It’s not like he’s lying when he says Chan’s room is off-limits. The only reason Jisung even has the key is because Chan’s too soft-hearted to not let him have somewhere he can hide away in. But if Felix has had a drink spilled onto his t-shirt, Jisung would be unnecessarily mean if he denied him access to the only free bathroom in this house. He’s just being nice.

Felix sends him a small smile and then rushes over to the en suite, the bedroom door left open in his wake. Jisung grimaces and goes over to quietly shut it before anyone else can stumble in. He hovers beside it, unsure of where to proceed from here.

Does he start a conversation with Felix? How does he even go about doing that, what is he meant to say? Maybe Felix doesn’t want a conversation with him, maybe he just wants to be left alone while he tries to salvage his clothes. And if Jisung _does_ start a conversation with him, won’t it be more polite to move into his view which would mean that the door would be left unguarded and some drunk idiot will probably get the grand idea to try and open it while he’s distracted. And it’s not like he can just lock it with Felix here, that would just be creepy.

“Fuck,” Felix grits out from the bathroom. “For the _fucking_ love of God.”

It’s really not the appropriate time for it, but the sound of Felix swearing shoots a spark of heat right down to the pits of Jisung’s stomach. For fuck’s sake, Han Jisung, this is not the time to be horny over your cute classmate.

“Uh.” He raises his voice to be heard over the dubstep shaking the walls of the house. “Is everything okay in there?”

There’s a small silence and then Felix’s voice returns, a pout evident in his words. “No. My t-shirt’s completely ruined. The stain didn’t wash out.” He appears in the doorway, looking miserable. “You don’t happen to have anything I could borrow, do you?”

He’s obviously joking, just trying to make light of the unfortunate turn of events, but Jisung says, “Actually, yes. If you want it.”

Felix’s eyes light up. “Oh shit, really?”

He swears a lot. Jisung likes it. A lot. He brushes this realisation off with a carefully planned shrug that seems much more careless than he feels.

“I crash here all the time. I’ve got stuff knocking about all over the house. One sec.” He quickly locks the door and throws Felix a smile that is hopefully as reassuring as he intends it to be. “Sorry about locking the door, I’m not planning to, like, jump you or anything. It’s just – this room really _is_ off-limits and I should’ve locked it earlier when I came in. You can leave when you’re in something that’s not sticking to your skin.”

Felix laughs. “Already sick of me, Han Jisung?”

Jisung stops in the middle of walking over to the wardrobe. He glances over his shoulder to blink owlishly at Felix who is much closer than he expected him to be, having followed him from the en suite.

“You know my name?” he blurts out.

It is probably the lamest thing he could’ve replied with.

Felix blinks back at him and he flounders a little under Jisung’s surprise. “Uh, yes? Should I not? We – we have Developmental Politics as well as Gender, Sex and Society together this semester. I see you, like, five times a week.”

“I know that,” Jisung says, blushing in embarrassment. “We’ve, uh, actually had a few units together since last year and I’ve seen you around in them. I just didn’t expect you to know my name.”

“Why wouldn’t I know your name?” He seems genuinely confused.

“I dunno, I just figured you wouldn’t. I’m pretty quiet and I usually take naps in the back of the lecture theatre so I’m not exactly… someone you notice.”

“I notice you,” Felix says quietly.

His eyes are steady on Jisung as he says this and the weight of them makes him flush even redder. Clearing his throat, Jisung turns away to fish out one of his tops from Chan’s wardrobe. He manages to find a baggy and faded Supreme t-shirt that he’s been meaning to get his hands on again since it’s one of his favourites, but he hands it over to Felix anyways. When Felix changes into it right there and then, he politely averts his eyes until it’s safe to look again.

Felix smiles at him, partly amused. “Thanks. You’re a lifesaver.”

“No problem,” Jisung says with a small shrug. “You needed it more than me.”

“So,” he says, playing with the balled-up fabric of the t-shirt he stripped out of, “how come you’re in here and not with the rest of the party downstairs?”

Jisung grimaces, sitting back down on the bed. He reaches over to grab his phone and detaches the earphones still attached to them; his music has been playing this entire time and he didn’t even realise. Felix moves until he sits next to him, the distance between them smaller than it probably should be.

“I’m not a huge fan of parties,” Jisung says, eyes on the pattern his toes sketch into the carpet. “I only really came here for Chan’s sake to be honest. When I got the chance to escape for a bit, I took it.”

“A lot of people aren’t,” Felix says, though they both know he isn’t one of them. In the few parties he’s been to, Jisung has always seen Felix in the thick of things, vibrant and demanding attention. “It’s chill.”

“Yeah, I’d much rather listen to my music up here. No offence to Chan, but his taste is pretty…”

“Shit?” Felix suggests, only to have Jisung bark out a surprised laugh and nod. He grins, a pretty row of teeth on display. “Yeah, it’s not the best playlist, is it?”

“I’m pretty sure I heard Liam Payne at one point,” Jisung grimaces. “If it’s not Zayn, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Hey, don’t knock Harry out of the running like that. His songs are bops too.”

“I need something moodier and sentimental,” he says with a dismissive shake of his head. “Harry’s good, but I like my alternative R&B.”

“Oh so you’re an angsty boy,” Felix teases. “Well, why didn’t you say that earlier?”

Jisung plays along, smiling. “You didn’t figure it out sooner? You walked in on me listening to moody music in a poorly lit bedroom while everyone else in the house parties around me. Angst is my brand, Lee Felix.”

“Well, Literature always _was_ my worst subject. I can’t read between the lines for shit. I’m too blunt and simple for that.”

“Blunt and simple’s cool,” says Jisung. “It’s better to hear things how they are instead of being told a bunch of pretty words that don’t really tell you anything at all.”

Maybe it’s a bit rich of him to say this given the sort of lyricist he is. The raps he pens are full of pretty words and Jisung specialises in painting a story with them in his songs. Outside of his work, however, he appreciates it when people are straightforward with him. It’s why he has the friends he does – absolutely none of them sugar coat any of their words. It’s why they work so well together. But he digresses.

“Oh really?” Felix says, raising an eyebrow. “So if I told you I’d prefer to sit here and talk with you instead of going back to the party, what would you say?”

 _I’d say that you’re mad_ , Jisung thinks. An entire party downstairs and Felix wants to be cooped up in a bedroom with no one but Jisung for company despite exchanging all of five words before today? What on earth would possess him to do that?

As crazy as it is, Jisung likes the sound of it. And more importantly, he likes Felix. He likes the way he talks and the intent way he studies Jisung, as if he’s determined to truly absorb the words he says, and he likes the curses that drift off his tongue without a second thought.

Jisung smiles. “I’d say the room’s large enough for the two of us.”

They talk for near enough two hours without a break. Without any awkward pauses or any fumbling for a new topic to discuss, without even realising they’ve spent this long just talking to each other. Truth be told, Jisung’s not even really sure what exactly most of their conversation consists of or how they get to what he does recall.

One moment they’re talking about their mid-term assignment for Politics, then somehow they’re sharing music recommendations and then somehow Jisung is detailing the time he nearly swam into the jaws of a crocodile in Malaysia. They discuss Felix’s love for swimming and the medals he won back in Australia and then why he decided to leave Sydney to study in Seoul and then about how difficult it is to switch between English and Korean when they’re wired so differently.

They argue over the superior ice cream flavour before Jisung gives up and says he prefers cheesecake over ice cream anyway and then they argue over which place on campus sells the best hot wings and soju. Somewhere along the way, they discover that they’re born just a day apart and Jisung lords his edge over Felix for ten minutes straight until he elbows him in the side, his tongue tracing the inside of his cheek in a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

They talk and they talk and they _talk_.

Jisung has never warmed up to someone so quickly before. Usually, it takes him a couple of meetings to break out of his shell, but Felix cracks it open with ease. So easily that Jisung barely even realises what’s happened until the moment they finally fall quiet two hours after they met. By this point, Felix isn’t just the cute classmate Jisung has a crush on. He’s someone Jisung would really like to call a friend.

“Oh wow,” Felix says, studying the clock on Chan’s bedside cabinet. “It’s past two in the morning already.”

The party downstairs doesn’t show any signs of tiring out soon. Jisung can only imagine the complaints the neighbours will hurl at Chan and his housemates in the morning.

“I didn’t even realise,” he says. “It only feels like it’s been, what, fifteen minutes since we started talking? Twenty at most?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Time sure does fly when you’re having fun.”

He offers Jisung another one of his lovely smiles, eyes crinkled up and mouth stretched wide. He can’t help how wide his own is in return, his gums on show and his nose scrunched up.

It’s that time of night when things tend to feel a bit off-kilter and everything in the world seems slightly surreal. So when Felix smiles at him, it pretty much lights up the entire room and has Jisung feel like he’s glowing inside.

Then Felix reaches out until his hand rests on top of Jisung’s and asks, “Can I be blunt with you again?”

Jisung looks at him quizzically. “Sure?”

“Okay,” he says. His tongue darts out to lick his lips and he takes a deep breath as if preparing himself for something. “Look. This is going to sound a bit – forward, but… I’m really fucking attracted to you. And talking with you has been great, but it’s made me even _more_ attracted to you and I just – I would really like to kiss you right now if that’s okay? Like if that’s something you’re up for?”

Okay. Uh. Wow.

That’s… so not what Jisung thought he would say. And maybe in a normal situation, a statement like that would throw him off-guard and send him into a panic from how unexpectedly everything changed – but this is not a normal situation. Jisung isn’t normally asked by a really, really cute boy if he wants a kiss at two am. He doesn’t normally hide away in a bedroom in the middle of a party and talk to his crush for two hours straight while said crush is wearing his favourite t-shirt. He doesn’t do any of this stuff.

Maybe the cheerful recklessness from the celebrations below has infected him. Or maybe Jisung just isn’t an idiot who looks a gift horse in the mouth. Either way, he fastens his eyes onto Felix’s mouth and quirks his own into a small smirk, emboldened by the proposition.

“So why don’t you?”

Felix blinks – and then the next second, his hands clamp down on Jisung’s shoulders and he pushes forward until their lips catch on each other. Jisung inhales sharply, the contact sending a sharp thrill through him, and wraps one hand around Felix’s waist. The other he brings to the back of Felix’s head as he presses back into his kiss, eager to return it.

The kiss isn’t as frenzied as one might expect it to be given the situation. But it’s deep and it’s passionate and soon enough Jisung is licking open Felix’s lips to push his tongue into his mouth. Felix groans, a low noise that has Jisung tighten his fingers on the strands in his grip. That earns him another soft moan. Jisung swallows it up eagerly, relishing in the fact that he’s the one who made Felix make that sound, that he’s the reason he’s making _all_ of these pretty little sounds.

Felix suddenly puts pressure behind his hands and pushes Jisung down until he’s lying back against the pillows. Their lips part for just a few moments until Felix has slithered on top of Jisung, his knees bracketing his torso. He settles down and then reaches for Jisung again, muttering under his breath.

“Fuck, you’re good at this.”

Jisung breathes out a laugh against his lips. “Thank you.”

This time when they kiss, Jisung’s hands don’t remain in Felix’s hair. They travel up and down what feels like his entire body, as if his palms want to memorise every last inch of him, want to mould him down until he’s fitted against every last crevice of Jisung’s body. Felix keeps rocking against him, pressing closer like he can’t get enough, so Jisung throws his legs up until they’re slung over his hips and they’re both plastered against each other.

Somehow his hands end up underneath Felix’s t-shirt – underneath _his_ t-shirt that Felix is wearing – and up his sides. His thumbs dig circles along the ladder of his ribcage, sending a shiver down Felix’s spine. Shuddering against his mouth, Felix breaks away to kiss along Jisung’s neck. He makes quick work of decorating them with love bites, nipping at the skin and revelling in the moans that spill from Jisung’s lips in response.

“Off,” Jisung stutters out. Before Felix can misinterpret it, he starts to tug on Felix’s top, already bunched up to expose most of his torso. “Take this off.”

Felix laughs and _god_ , his voice is so fucking deep, Jisung can’t get enough of it.

“Pushy,” he teases, but he tears the t-shirt off all the same.

His skin is absolutely divine in the dim glow of the lamp. He’s golden all over, sun-kissed and rich in colour, and brown freckles map out constellations across his body. Jisung doesn’t even care about the hard ridges of his abs, he just wants to lick a path between all of the freckles that are scattered across them. He wants to bite in hickeys to match each one.

“Holy shit,” he says hoarsely. His eyes flicker up to meet Felix’s who waits patiently for the compliment, arched on top of him like some kind of Greek god. “You’re – really fucking beautiful, man.”

Felix laughs again although this time it’s much softer. “Thanks.” He glides a hand over Jisung’s stomach and taps just above his belly button. “You take yours off too. I want to see you properly.”

And with a request like that, who is Jisung to deny it?

He sits up slightly to pull his own top off. His necklace gets caught in his hair in the process and Felix has to help him disentangle himself, the two of them falling into quiet laughter as they struggle to free Jisung. When the pendant finally hits Jisung’s bare chest, they share a grin.

Jisung’s hands are wrapped around Felix’s pretty little waist and his have returned to Jisung’s shoulders. Felix is sat squarely on his lap now, toned legs on either side of him. They’re close enough to feel how hard the other person is and to know where things are heading, but there’s none of the senseless fervour Jisung would typically associate with this kind of situation. Passion lingers in the air, yes, but there’s a light-heartedness to the atmosphere that has Jisung feeling nothing but content where he sits. He much prefers it this way.

One of Felix’s hands drifts down to ghost along Jisung’s entire torso. He traces the six pack Jisung has been working on in the gym and then back up to rub his biceps with an appreciative hum.

“You’ve been hiding these from me,” he remarks.

Jisung laughs. “I can’t just give away all of my secrets,” he jokes.

Felix hums again, still fixated on Jisung’s arms. “I want to bite them,” he says abruptly. “They look very biteable.” He leans over to mouth at them and Jisung just laughs once more.

“You’re so weird, Felix,” he says, but the words aren’t meant harshly.

Felix _is_ weird. Jisung happens to like him that way.

Once Felix has had his fill of Jisung’s biceps, he returns to his mouth with another happy hum, pressing peck after peck against them. The kisses are just that for now: kisses. Nothing that is meant to lead anywhere just yet so the two of them pass some time merely swapping kisses between themselves until Felix gets antsy again and starts to nip along Jisung’s jaw. His neck is going to be a fucking sight and a half tomorrow, he knows it.

Jisung can’t bring himself to care and just tilts his head back to grant him better access.

“How are we doing this?” Felix breathes against his skin. “What are you into? I’m clean by the way if you’re wondering and you probably are.”

Jisung can hardly think, not when Felix is sucking a new bruise into his neck. “Uh – I don’t mind either way, it’s up to you. I’m clean too.”

“Excellent,” Felix says, moving away from his latest creation with a loud pop. He soothes the sting with a swipe of his tongue and then leans back to fix Jisung with a determined stare. “I want you to fuck me.”

Another spark of heat travels right down into Jisung’s stomach. God, Felix is so fucking hot, it’s unreal.

“Fine by me,” he says and then promptly flips them over so Felix is the one pinned to the bed.

They land in a tangle of limbs and laughter. Felix’s eyes are wide and startled before they brighten with excitement, especially when Jisung starts to pepper kisses across his face in apology for the rough landing. He absolutely _loves_ it, grinning wide and giggling against Jisung’s cheeks.

If there’s one thing that stands out about the night, it’s that: their laughter.

For some reason, they can’t stop laughing or smiling at each other like a pair of punch-drunk fools. They laugh whenever their elbows accidentally catch in each other’s sides and when someone gets a little too eager for more. Felix snickers into his shoulder while Jisung fumbles for supplies in Chan’s bedside cabinet, sending his friend a mental apology for violating his things. He also can’t seem to stop himself from gritting out witty one-liners even as he’s twisting his fingers into the covers and panting from Jisung’s touch.

“Hi there. Fancy seeing you here,” he quips later when Jisung is hovering above him and has paused in his ministrations to let him adjust.

He immediately lets out a loud, unattractive snort that nearly has him collapse onto Felix right there and then.

“Oh you know,” Jisung replies. “I was just in the neighbourhood. Figured I’d drop by while I was here.”

“Cool, cool,” he says. His eyes screw shut as he guides Jisung further in and he punches out, “ _Shit._ Fuck, yeah, there – that’s, that’s… that’s it. _Shit_ , Jisung.”

That’s another thing that Jisung knows he’ll remember. The way his name sounds in Felix’s mouth as he’s hissing it out, the curses that decorate his tongue. The way his fingers dig into Jisung’s skin and the way he can’t stop kissing him, even as they’re smiling. He swallows Jisung’s laughter and spills out his own in reply, their moans mixing in the small space that exists between them, and when it’s all said and done and Jisung has wiped him down, he reaches for Jisung and noses his hair.

“That was really good, Sungie,” he breathes out. He’s not saying it to be sexy, he’s saying it because he means it. “God, that was so fucking good.”

When Jisung wakes up the next day, it’s to an empty bed. He reaches for his phone, convinced there will be a message from Felix, only to find several texts from Hyunjin.

> **hyunjin (hwang):**
> 
> [10:03] i did it again sungie :(((
> 
> [10:04] i always say i won’t but it never works out that way
> 
> [10:05] it’s not my fucking fault he wore a muscle tee last night, wtf was i supposed to do
> 
> [10:07] lemme know when u see this, i want to get boba tea to cheer myself up

It’s as Jisung is texting him back that he remembers how he never even gave Felix his number. He never gave Jisung his either. They got so caught up in their conversation that it just never came up. And after they slept together, their pillow talk lasted all of five minutes before the two of them fell asleep mid-sentence.

Jisung opens up Instagram and quickly finds Felix’s account. They’re not following each other, but it’s easy enough to find him when Felix has nabbed a handle that’s just his full name. He stares at the profile for five minutes, teeth worrying into his lower lip before he sighs and locks his phone.

If Felix wants to message him, he’ll reach out. He’s the one who woke up the morning after and left without another word. The ball’s in his court now as far as Jisung is concerned.

He gets out of bed slowly, his muscles protesting after how much he worked them last night, and pulls on the clothes he wore to the party. It’s late morning now and the house is quiet enough that he’s sure no one else is awake. He can sneak out without running into anyone.

“Stop right there, young man,” says a sharp voice just as Jisung’s fingers hook onto the handle of the front door. He freezes, hoping that this will somehow make him invisible. “Don’t you dare leave without explaining yourself.”

He turns around slowly, offering Chan a helpless smile. The third year is at the far end of the hallway, his hair still damp from a shower and a bin bag slung over his shoulder. He’s not mad, but he’s not smiling either.

“Channie hyung!” Jisung tries to exclaim with enthusiasm. It comes out much weaker than he intends. “Lovely to see you this morning.”

“I’m sure it is,” he says. “Did you have a nice night?”

“Uh… Yes. Yes, I did.”

Jisung isn’t stupid. If Felix wasn’t there when he woke up, he had to have let himself out. Which is why the bedroom door was unlocked when Jisung tried it. Which means Chan had his shower in his en suite and walked right past Jisung to get to it. Which means he knows exactly what kind of night Jisung had and where.

Chan points one short finger up the stairs. “Go and strip my bedsheets before I smother you in them, you absolute heathen.”

“Yessir.”

Jisung doesn’t even bother to argue, just hurries back up the stairs and away from Chan’s disappointment.

Felix doesn’t message him all weekend. It’d be a lie to say Jisung isn’t disappointed. Maybe Felix doesn’t want a repeat of what happened at the party and that’s perfectly fine if he doesn’t, but he thought they were at least _friends_ after that night. It felt like they were anyways. He never pegged Felix as the type to sleep with someone and then completely ghost on them, but apparently even speaking to someone nonstop for two hours about everything under the sun doesn’t mean anything in the end.

Whatever. He’s just another boy. Jisung resolves to not let the way things turned out affect him.

That doesn’t stop him from trying to find Felix when he walks into his Developmental Politics lecture on Monday morning. He scans the already busy theatre for a familiar head of platinum blonde hair, only to come up short. For a moment, Jisung is struck with the awful thought that Felix has skipped out on it just to avoid him before he bats it away. An entire lecture theatre full of students – what are the odds Felix would end up sitting next to him if that were something he didn’t want to happen?

Apparently, they’re very strong.

About fifteen minutes into his professor’s spiel when Jisung is in the middle of drifting off, the lecture theatre doors quietly open and he hears the tell-tale rustle of someone trying to sneak in without being noticed.

“Hey, can you move your bag please?” they ask.

Jisung’s eyes fly open. He snaps his head to the right to find Felix at the end of the aisle, hovering beside the seat Jisung has claimed for his school bag. Their eyes meet and Felix flushes, two deep pink roses in his cheeks, but he doesn’t move. Nodding slowly, Jisung pulls his bag off the seat and shoves it at his feet.

“Thanks,” Felix mutters, dropping down beside him.

Their legs knock against each other and Jisung tries not to flinch away from the contact. He tries even harder not to remember how Felix’s legs were slung over his hips just three nights ago. Tries not to remember the ten little crescents bruised into his shoulder blades from where Felix clung onto him.

“No problem,” he whispers and is glad to find that his voice comes out even.

For the next hour and a half the two of them sit beside each other in complete silence. Jisung, for once in his life, tries to pay attention to the lecturer and does his best to write down notes as if that’ll keep his thoughts away from the boy beside him. Needless to say, it’s not very successful.

When he peeks a glance at Felix’s notebook, he finds him doodling a sketch of a dog. To be honest, it’s pretty badly drawn, but it still brings a smile to Jisung’s face. He snaps out of it and looks away.

“Okay you’re all free to go,” says their professor when the lecture finally draws to an end. “Remember that I want your essay plans by nine am on Friday morning or else you’re facing a penalty of a five percent reduction on your mid-term assignment.”

Most of the class has already surreptitiously packed away their things two slides ago, but Jisung was not one of them, needing something to occupy his hands while he was stuck next to Felix. He starts to pack his things slowly, hoping Felix will be long gone by the time he’s done.

But apparently the boy has other plans because instead of leaving, Felix turns to him and demands, “Why didn’t you message me all weekend?”

Taken aback, Jisung can only blink at him with huge eyes. “I – uh. Why didn’t _you_ message me?” he returns.

 _You’re the one who left me alone in bed_ , he adds in his head.

“I don’t have your number,” he replies. “And I tried to find you on social media, but you’re, like, nowhere to be found, dude. I know for a fact that I’m a hell of a lot easier to track down so I figured you’d message me instead, but you just left me hanging. I’ll be honest, that’s pretty shitty of you. I didn’t think you’d be the type to pull a move like that.”

Jisung’s mouth falls open in shock. That is so... _not_ the explanation he’s been expecting. He figured that Felix would be able to find him through Chan’s account, but it is then that he remembers what his Instagram must look like to someone who doesn’t have him as a friend. A profile picture of the Seoul skyline and a bio that only marks his location as South Korea. Even his display name is just **han.**

“It’s @j_one,” he says finally. “And I didn’t message you because – well, you’re the one who left me in the morning. That means it was on you to reach out to me. You couldn’t have gotten my number off someone or something?”

Felix flushes. “I didn’t want to seem creepy! And I only left because I had a shift at work.”

“Oh. Well, how was I meant to know that?”

“Well – “ He cuts off his retort and sighs. “Can we just agree that we both messed up this weekend? I didn’t mean to leave you hanging, I promise. I just woke up late for work and rushed out of there before I could get written up for it. Plus, you looked so peaceful sleeping, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

If he was late for work, waking Jisung up to say goodbye would’ve probably set him back at least another five minutes. Jisung is a heavy sleeper once he knocks out for the night, beaten only by Hyunjin. Maybe it’s a good thing that Felix didn’t want to bother him.

“That’s fine by me,” he says. “I didn’t mean to leave you hanging either, I just – I have a lot of pride, I guess. Sorry about that.”

Felix smiles and oh wow, it’s even prettier in proper lighting. “Understandable. Hey, do you have a class to get to or anything?”

“Not for another three hours.”

“Great! This is my only lecture on Mondays so I’m free for the rest of the day. You wanna grab a bite to eat at the campus café? We can pay for each other as an apology.”

Jisung laughs. “Won’t that just be the same thing as paying for ourselves?”

“No,” he insists. “We might spend the same amount, but it’s the thought that counts. Just because our bank statements won’t know any difference doesn’t mean we won’t.”

He has a fair point there. Jisung tells him as such.

They pack away the rest of their things and head over to the café, the tension from earlier splintering away with every step they take. By the time they pass through the café doors, it’s like it was never there at all.

“Cheesecake right?” Felix says, bouncing on the balls of his feet as they wait in line. He points to where several slices of the dessert sit behind a glass casing. “Will that one be okay?”

“Yeah.” Jisung nods. “I’m surprised you remember.”

“Why wouldn’t I remember? And don’t say it’s because you’re not very remarkable because I’ll bite your arm if you do.”

“You’ll bite my arm anyway,” Jisung shoots back, even though that is exactly what he was about to say. Damn, is he really that predictable?

Felix only grins. “Maybe I will.”

He squeezes Jisung’s arm in a gesture that’s a little too familiar to be just friendly and then shuffles forward in the queue. Under Jisung’s watchful eye, he adjusts the neck of his turtleneck so the hickeys that litter his skin can be seen for a flash of a moment. The smile that hovers on his lips afterwards is too mischievous for the gesture to have been anything but deliberate.

Jisung feels something coil in his stomach and forces himself to look away, the back of his neck warming.

They end up ordering a cheesecake and a cheese panini for Jisung – “Isn’t that some sort of violation against cheeses?” Felix grimaces after Jisung reels off his order – and a pecan brownie, iced americano and a vegan burrito for Felix. They settle down in a small booth next to the windows, their lunch scattered across the table between them.

“Are you sure you don’t want a drink?” Felix presses, eyebrows drawn together. He fiddles with the paper straw of his own.

Jisung shakes the two litre bottle of water he’s taken to lugging around with him recently. “I’m sure. I’m trying to be healthier nowadays. Apparently, that includes staying hydrated.”

“You can stay hydrated with coffee too,” Felix mutters petulantly, but that’s only because he’s annoyed that his lunch cost more than Jisung’s. “At least get another slice of cheesecake.”

“What part of going healthy don’t you understand?” Jisung replies with a laugh.

“Fuck being healthy. All my homies hate being healthy.”

“And what homies are those?” Jisung wants to know. He digs his knife into the end of his panini and starts wriggling a bite free with his fork. “I don’t think you mentioned any of your friends the other night. At least not properly anyways.”

Felix watches him take his first bite before he answers.

“Well, there’s Seungmin,” he says, ticking the names off with his fingers. “He’s my best friend. We were roommates last year which was honestly such a godsend for me because he’s more or less fluent in English and my Korean last year was just plain embarrassing. You think _this_ is bad? You should’ve seen what a fucking train wreck I was when I first came.”

“Hey, your Korean’s not bad at all.”

It’s honestly not. Sure, there’s still an accent that colours his words and he can be hesitant to speak sometimes, but he can hold a conversation. And he can understand what Jisung’s saying, even when there’s food in his mouth like now. He’s perfectly fine.

“Eh, it could be better.” He shrugs before he continues, “Then there’s Chenle. He’s this Business student in first year that I met at an orientation event for international students I volunteered to help out with. If you know Renjun and Donghyuck, you’ll have seen him around. Very loud, very cute. There’s also Eric – he was in our Early Korean History unit in first year, I’m not sure whether you remember him – and Chan who I met at an end-of-exams party last year. It’s why I was invited to his one the other night. Oh, and there’s also Changbin – “

“Whoa, Changbin as in Seo Changbin?” Jisung can’t help but interrupt.

Felix pauses, nodding. “Yeah. You know him?”

“Sort of.”

 _My best friend has been hooking up with him at every party they’ve gone to for the past ten months_ , is what he really means to say. _I’m not sure whether they’re in love with each other, but they’re something alright. I don’t think it’s a good thing either._

“Yeah, so Changbin’s another good friend of mine. I met him at – Sorry, this is really random, but did you know that you store food in your cheeks when you eat?”

It takes Jisung a while to realise that Felix has switched the subject. He blinks up at him with a hum, said cheeks still swollen from all the food he’s kept in there. He doesn’t even realise when he’s doing it by this point so it takes him a moment to catch onto what Felix is talking about.

“Oh yeah,” he says after swallowing down the bite he was chewing on. “I guess I do. Why, is it a problem?”

Felix’s eyes trace his cheeks. They don’t _look_ disgusted. They look… enamoured.

“No,” he murmurs, shaking his head. A soft smile spreads across his face. “It’s the opposite of a problem.”

Jisung sighs and puts down his knife and fork. “You’re a fan of the jeekies, aren’t you?” he says.

“I’m a what?”

“A fan of the jeekies,” he repeats. He pokes the cheek that still has some food tucked away in it and watches as Felix follows the movement with delight. “The Jisung cheekies. The jeekies.”

“You look like a baby quokka,” Felix breathes out wondrously.

“I have no idea what that is, but I’ll take your word for it.”

“They’re this type of animal from Australia,” he explains, already whipping out his phone to load an image of one. “They have really cute cheeks and these adorable little round eyes. They’re the cutest animal in the whole world. Look!”

He holds out his phone and Jisung peers at the image presented to him. Damn, that really _is_ the cutest animal in the world.

“Oh wow,” he says. “I kinda see it.”

“The cutest animal in the world,” Felix proclaims, pointing in his direction, “Han Jisung.”

Just like last time, times flies by while they’re immersed in a conversation. Long after their food has been demolished and the ice in Felix’s americano has melted, they continue to sit in the café and just talk. Just like last time, it’s about anything and everything.

Jisung asks him about what his work is like and Felix confirms that retail is always hell, but he does get to see some cute animals in the pet shop which makes it a little more bearable. Felix asks him about the meaning behind his Instagram username and Jisung explains, with cheeks that are a little too flushed to be passed off as normal, that it’s the name he goes by in his infrequent underground rapping gigs. Felix then says to give him a heads-up for when the next one is so he can turn up with a sparkly, supportive sign to which Jisung promises he will never let Felix through the door if that’s the case.

They also remember to swap numbers this time after Felix’s phone goes off in the middle of their arm wrestling competition which has Jisung walk out of the café with an extra name in his contacts.

On their way out, Felix offers to walk him to his seminar. Not wanting to end their time together just yet, Jisung accepts it so the two of them amble over in the direction of the Social Sciences building, continuing their conversation with full-steam.

The closer they get to the building, however, the slower their pace gets until they come to a stop some thirty metres away from the entrance. Jisung stares up at the several-storey building and wonders if it moved a hundred yards closer in the past day. He lingers by Felix’s side, kicking the loose gravel at their feet aimlessly.

“This is me, I guess,” he says reluctantly.

Felix looks up at the building and sighs. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

The two of them stand in silence for a stretch of thirty seconds. Jisung doesn’t want to be the one to break their little bubble and neither does Felix apparently because neither of them make a move to walk away.

Then Felix turns to him, determination blazing in his eyes. “How important is your tutorial?”

“Uh. Not very, I suppose? It’s just a standard follow-up to last week’s lecture, I only ever go to keep my attendance up.”

“Right.” Felix nods as if filing this information away. And then: “How close is your apartment?”

Jisung’s pulse kicks into a faster pace. He can feel it fluttering in his neck beneath all of the fading love bites Felix gifted him with three days ago. He licks his lips, anticipation thrumming in his veins.

“About a ten minute walk,” he replies. “Seven or eight if we walk fast.”

Felix nods again. He offers a shadowy smile. “Want to give me a tour of your room?”

It’s not even a question, is it.

The second the front door shuts behind them, Felix launches himself into Jisung’s arms. He cries out in alarm and stumbles back from the sudden weight, but quickly recovers, finding Felix’s mouth within moments. Their kiss is much hungrier this time, lips moving against each other in a furious tempo. Felix pushes his tongue into Jisung’s mouth just as he pushes him back towards the rest of the rooms and the two of them blindly blunder through the apartment, not wanting to let go of each other even just for a moment.

No one else is here at this time. Jisung knows for a fact Hyunjin has a lecture at this time while Yeji and Jisu aren’t even back in town until Wednesday evening, so he doesn’t care how loud they are while they’re crashing around everywhere. They can be as loud as they want.

Somehow they manage to make it to his bedroom. Much like last time, Felix pushes him back until he’s on the bed and then comes over to straddle him, kissing him desperately as soon as he’s settled.

“I’ve been thinking about this all weekend,” he mutters against Jisung’s lips. “I was pissed off at you for ghosting on me, but I kept imagining ways I might run into you in the lecture this morning and what might happen if I did.”

He pulls his jumper off, revealing his bare torso to the light. Just like last time, his skin is golden all over, only now the freckles are interspersed with the faded purple of Jisung’s kisses. It shouldn’t be possible to be this beautiful, but apparently it is. Felix is living proof of the sublime.

“I thought about you too,” Jisung admits, his thumbs rubbing circles into the sharp divots of Felix’s hips. “You’re kind of impossible not to think about.”

Felix smiles then and it is probably the loveliest thing this city has ever seen. He bends down to press kisses to Jisung’s cheeks, soft and dry.

“God,” he breathes against his face. “How are you even real?”

Jisung doesn’t know what to say to that, or how to reply to the look in Felix’s eyes when he sweeps his gaze across Jisung. He looks at him like he’s an antique painting in a museum and Felix has been tempted enough to press his fingers against the layers of paint, wanting to trace each contour of the artwork. He looks at him like Jisung is something special, like the ink blot of his hair on the pillow and the rise and fall of his chest is a wonder to behold.

He doesn’t know what to say, but he does know how to kiss Felix so he turns his head to capture his lips with his own and sinks into the thrill it brings.

The two of them make out on his bed until their pants are too uncomfortable to stay in. Felix’s come off first, but when they try to peel away Jisung’s skinny jeans afterwards, they snag on the heel of his foot. The two of them have to properly tug on the legs, snorting with laughter. When it finally comes off, Felix flies backward until his head hits the wall.

Jisung scrambles forward with a surprised noise. “Shit, are you okay? You didn’t hurt your head, did you?”

“I don’t think I did,” Felix says. He meets Jisung’s concern with another round of laughter and tosses the jeans to the side, crawling into his arms. “Don’t look so worried, I’m okay.”

“I couldn’t help it,” Jisung says, relief streaking through him as he relaxes in Felix’s hold. “Imagine what I’d have to tell people if you’d died. ‘Oh, we were about to have sex with each other when my skinny jeans decided that it’d seen enough from us, it needed to witness a murder.’”

Felix snorts. “Death by skinny jeans. How 2012 of us.”

“Now, _this_ is what the Mayans predicted.”

He laughs again and presses a short kiss to Jisung’s mouth.

“Anyways, how are we doing this?” he asks, drawing back. He wiggles his eyebrows in quite possibly the least sexy display Jisung has ever seen, but all it does is make him roll his eyes. “I have dance practice at six and I’d like to be able to move when I get there so I can’t bottom this time.”

Jisung shrugs. “Let’s just go with the flow and see how things pan out. I’m cool with whatever.”

“Go with the flow. I can do that. I’m always flowing.” He grimaces. “Fuck, that sounded a lot better in my head.”

“I’m sure it did.”

Felix glares, though there’s no real heat to it. “Shut up and kiss me,” he orders, pursing his lips in expectation.

Part of Jisung wants to tease him by leaving him waiting until he asks nicely… but he leans forward to kiss him anyways. By this point, he’s realised he’s a bit of a sucker for Felix’s kisses, especially when he’s looking at him with his hair all mussed and his mouth puckered up for him. He’s a weak, weak man.

He pulls Felix to him and they both sink back into the bed, swallowed by the covers.

> **sunshine lix:**
> 
> [17:29] you were still asleep by the time i had to leave for dance practice :(((
> 
> [17:29] i wanted to say goodbye in person but you are just too cute when you’re asleep!!! i couldn’t wake you up!!!
> 
> [17:30] so here’s me saying goodbye through texts instead
> 
> [17:31] make sure you text me this time and don’t leave me hanging lmao
> 
> [17:34] p.s. i borrowed one of your hoodies since my jumper was ruined <3
> 
> **hannie:**
> 
> [18:42] have a nice time in dance practice <33
> 
> [18:43] don’t overexert urself lol
> 
> [18:51] also the hoodie probably looks better on u anyways, don’t worry abt it :))

Jisung gets up to strip his bedsheets and dump them into his laundry basket along with his clothes and Felix’s jumper. By the time he’s straightened out his room, his stomach is grumbling to itself so he takes the hint and heads out into the rest of the apartment in search of their instant ramen stash. When he arrives in the kitchen, he finds Hyunjin sat on a barstool at the island, watching a YouTube video while he eats his own cup of processed ramen.

“’Sup bro?” Jisung greets, heading past him for the kettle.

Hyunjin startles with a shriek, his fork splashing back into the ramen before he registers that it’s just Jisung. “Oh, it’s just you, thank God. Jesus Christ, is it so hard for you to walk a little louder instead of sneaking up on me all the time? You scared me. Wait!” He snaps his head back in Jisung’s direction, pointing an accusing finger. “ _You!”_

Jisung raises his hands in surrender. “I didn’t do anything, it wasn’t me.”

“Yes, you did!”

“I promise you I did not,” he says. He honestly hasn’t done anything, at least not anything that would warrant such a betrayed look.

Hyunjin slams his hands onto the countertop. Jisung doesn’t take the display of aggression too seriously; Hyunjin is known for his dramatics. Case in point: he raises his hand once again and jabs his index finger at Jisung in the textbook gesture of accusation.

“You slept with Lee Felix and you didn’t tell me!” he cries.

Jisung is much less fazed. He fills up the kettle and sets it to boil. “How did you know?”

“How did I know? _How did I know?_ Take a look at your neck, Han Jisung! Either you were mauled by a bear on your way back from uni or you slept with someone who’s apparently very fond of leaving hickeys all over your body. That someone being none other than Lee Felix, of course. Who else would it be?”

As one might easily guess, Hyunjin is a Drama student.

“Also, I walked into the apartment just as he was leaving. He was wearing your clothes and he looked pretty fucked out.”

He’s also Jisung’s best friend of several years.

“Uh,” he says. “That sounds about right.”

“How dare you,” Hyunjin says. “You’re dating Lee Felix and you didn’t even think to tell me? What happened to ‘oh, it’s nothing _big_ , Hyunjin, I just think he’s cute, that’s all’. I can’t believe you hid this from me! I tell you all about when I sleep with Changbin!”

“Believe me, I wish you wouldn’t.”

“You love it,” he hisses.

“I really don’t,” Jisung says calmly. “Also, I’m not dating Felix.”

“What.”

“We’re just – actually, I don’t know what we’re doing. We kinda slept together at Chan’s party and then I thought he ghosted me, but he thought _I_ ghosted him so he lowkey confronted me after our Politics lecture today. So we cleared up the misunderstanding and then bought each other apology lunches from that café near the Business building. And then we somehow ended up talking for hours again and I kinda didn’t want it to end and neither did he so we came back here and slept together again. So I don’t know what we are. But I know we’re not dating.”

Hyunjin stares at him, his jaw so low it’s almost dislocated. Jisung reaches out to tap it shut with a click, only to be batted away.

“Who are you and what have you done with Han Jisung?” Hyunjin asks, completely serious. “Since when have you ever done casual hook-ups?”

He hasn’t. That’s the thing. None of this is by the book that details Jisung’s life and had it been anyone else, it would never have gotten this far. But there’s something so addicting about Lee Felix, something that burrows between the layers of Jisung’s skin and has him acting in ways he never would.

He doesn’t mind it. Not a single part of him is as worried as Hyunjin evidently is.

The thing about being with Felix is that it’s difficult to be anything other than completely comfortable around him. They just _click._ Whether it’s as friends or as something more, Jisung likes being around him and knows he feels the same way.

So even though things have heated up both times they've spent an extended amount of time in each other’s presence, Jisung isn’t worried about it. It all just feels pretty inevitable.

“I don’t know,” he tells Hyunjin. “But whatever’s happening between us… I like it. I’m okay with it.”

Hyunjin studies him for a long moment, as if trying to find a tell that reveals he’s lying.

In the end, he sighs. “Look, I’m not going to be a hypocrite and tell you that you can’t do something like this when I’m the mess who keeps going back to Changbin the second there’s a drop of alcohol in me. But speaking as your best friend, I’d just like to tell you that these kind of things can get really messy and if you ever feel like it’s hurting you, it’s better to just cut things off before you get too attached.

“But as long as you know what you’re getting into… I guess I’m happy for you. Just make sure you don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Jisung reaches over to squeeze Hyunjin’s hand. As dramatic as he can be sometimes, he really is a great friend.

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

Over the next month, Jisung sees Felix more or less every day. Every week they have four lecture slots and two tutorials with each other which knocks out four of the five schooldays. They decide to meet up of their own accord on the fifth day, grabbing lunch in a free period between two seminars. Weekends aren't a Felix-free zone either although they only ever meet up for a few hours in between hangouts with their own friends.

They do sleep together on multiple occasions in that time. It’s kind of hard not to when they’re so drawn to one another, their hands seeking purchase on each other’s bodies, their eyes hooked. Whatever they have between them is magnetic and Jisung is helpless to the forces that have him falling into Felix’s arms.

But it doesn’t happen every single time they meet. A lot of the time, all they do is hang out and enjoy each other’s company. They never seem to run out of food for thought; for all Jisung’s mouth seems to run away from him, Felix’s is sprinting just as fast alongside it. There’s always a funny video to share or a tv show to rant about or something silly that puts them in a good mood.

And there are quieter times too. When they just sit next to each other and soak in the other person’s presence, content to be silent as long as they have each other as a companion. Jisung plugs his earphones into his phone and listens to one of his playlists while Felix sits opposite him, his own air pods popped in.

Sometimes he fiddles with Jisung’s fingers, running the pads of his own over the many rings that decorate them. Other times he snuggles up nice and close, tucking his body away in Jisung’s side like he just wants to be hidden from the world for a little while. Jisung rubs his hand up and down Felix’s side and keeps him fixed in place until it’s time for them to separate.

He’s still not sure how to define what he has with Felix. Not quite friends, not quite lovers. Friends with benefits is too casual a term for them and fuckbuddies is too crass. They just… are, he supposes.

All he knows is that it’s not a little crush anymore.

“I’m bored,” Felix announces forty minutes into studying.

With mid-terms right around the corner, the library is packed out with students. Now that it’s crunch time, it’s a hard time just finding seats in the place, but the two of them have miraculously managed it. It’s not a gift Jisung intends on squandering although Felix doesn’t seem to agree.

“Hi, bored,” he says without looking up from his notes. “I’m Jisung.”

“That’s not even funny,” Felix complains. “What have mid-terms done to you? That was so weak, Sungie, I’m disappointed.”

“Hi, disappointed. I’m – “

“ _Don’t you fucking dare._ ”

Jisung snickers into his notes. He doesn’t even need to look up to feel the force of Felix’s glare; it drills a hole into his skull anyways. He blindly reaches out to squeeze Felix’s hand, half in apology and half just because, and feels him squeeze back. Before he can pull away, Felix clamps down until they’re properly holding hands.

Jisung looks up to send him a curious glance.

“When are you going to take your break?” he asks, mouth pushed out into a pout that begs to be kissed. “You’ve been working nonstop for _hours_.”

“It’s been less than one,” he points out. “But I’d say in another… fifteen minutes or so maybe?”

“Fifteen minutes.” Felix looks like he wants to die. He pushes the dread away with a decisive nod and straightens up. “Right. Fifteen minutes. I can do fifteen minutes.”

“Yes you can, baby.”

“Don’t call me that when I’m suffering through The Politics of Globalisation,” he scolds. “I like it when you call me baby. I don’t want it to be associated with fucking _politics_ of all things _._ I want it to be associated with sexy times.”

“Sexy times,” Jisung repeats blankly.

“Yes. Sexy times. Or do you want me to go into more detail about what you did to me the other night for the entire library to hear?”

“Sexy times is fine,” he says quickly, blushing almost right away.

The sight has Felix break out into a smile, the evil man he is. He gets off on making Jisung blush _way_ too much. Jisung doesn’t dislike it half as much as he should.

They study for a little under twenty minutes what with the last page of the chapter Jisung is on giving him a little trouble. But soon enough, he’s pushing away his textbook and notes with a groan, arms stretched out in front of him to soothe the ache that comes with writing notes so intently for so long.

Felix reaches out to play with his fingers. “What else do you have left to get through today?”

“Uh. Just my notes on the history of hip hop for World Music. I should be done by four pm, I think.”

“That’s _so_ far away,” he laments. “You’re so responsible during exam-time, Sungie. It’s pretty hot to be honest.”

Once again startled by Felix’s shamelessness, all Jisung can do is let out a surprised laugh. There’s never any telling what will come out of Felix’s mouth. He says whatever is on his mind and the honesty is genuinely so refreshing. It also makes for some entertaining conversations.

“Right,” Felix says, lowering their hands to the table to look at Jisung. He has a glint of determination in his eyes that he tends to only get when he wants to kiss him. “I need to go and find a book for Philosophy. You wanna help me hunt it down?”

Felix isn’t taking any Philosophy units this semester.

“Sure,” Jisung says, already rising to his feet.

The two of them walk up to one of the other floors in the library where there are fewer study spaces since it’s so dimly lit and filled with towering row after row of books. Their conversation instinctively hushes as they enter the space, both of them drawing closer together as they walk past several aisles. Felix suddenly pulls Jisung into one of them without warning and guides him towards the far end.

Jisung has barely enough time to register the words _How To Cook Healthily On A Budget_ – a title of a book that does not seem very philosophical, he must say – before Felix is leaning in towards him, hands linked around his neck.

“Just so you know, I’m not fucking you in the library,” Jisung tells him before their lips can meet. “I’m not going to risk anyone finding us like that.”

Felix laughs and the sound drifts right into Jisung’s open mouth. “I didn’t expect you to. God, Jisung, the places your mind goes sometimes. I just want an innocent kiss or two. That’s all.”

Neither of them are stupid. There’s nothing innocent about the kisses that Felix wants. The truth is there, ready to be read in the quirk of his lips, the sparkle in his eyes. He’s cheeky and seductive and he’s impossible to say no to.

Jisung doesn’t.

He moves first, kissing Felix with a gentle press of his lips. It soon deepens into something less chaste, but there’s an easiness about these kisses. Something slow and languid, the kind of kiss you indulge in when you first wake up in the morning to find your lover in the same bed as you. Jisung’s hands frame Felix’s face, keeping him in place while they lean back against the wall and get lost in each other.

When they part, Felix’s lips are plump and red. Jisung has the overwhelming urge to bite them so he does, pulling out a giggle from the other boy when he releases the lip from between his teeth.

“This is much better than studying,” he declares, carding a hand through Jisung’s hair. “Don’t you think?”

“Most things are better than studying,” Jisung says. “But you’re right, this was much better. Maybe we should make this our reward for making it through each small block of revision.”

Felix freezes. “If you do that, I might just actually put my head down for these midterms.”

“Let’s do it. I need something to motivate me too.”

Felix grins and somehow manages to push himself closer to Jisung. He rests his head on Jisung’s shoulder and starts to trace patterns on his chest with his right hand. Jisung squeezes him once in reply, his arms still locked around his waist. He lets his eyes drift shut and basks in the warmth that this moment brings him.

“Hey Sungie,” whispers Felix a few minutes later. “Can I tell you something?”

He lets his eyes crack open a little to send him an inviting look. “Of course, you can.”

Whatever Felix wants to say must get stuck in his throat because when he opens his mouth, no words leave him. Jisung waits patiently, knowing they’ll come when he works up the courage, but he can’t help but feel curious about what could have him so hesitant to speak. In the time he’s gotten to know Felix, he’s never been one to shy away from what he’s thinking.

When it looks like he’s not going to manage it, Jisung begins, “Are you okay – “

“I don’t want to be friends,” Felix blurts out. For a terrifying second, Jisung’s heart turns to stone and starts to plummet from his chest before Felix hastens to correct, “I mean, I don’t want to _just_ be friends anymore. I – I want to be more than that. I want to be able to say that we’re more than that.”

His heart’s descent screeches to a halt. Jisung’s mouth opens and closes as he flails for a response.

Finally, he manages, “Are you asking me out, Lee Felix?”

“Sort of,” he says, flushing the loveliest shade of pink. He drops his eyes, too shy to look at him, and studies a loose thread on the collar of Jisung’s jumper instead. “Yes.”

“Oh.”

“The thing is... I never really made it clear earlier, but I’ve - I've kinda had a crush on you since last year.”

He’s what _._ Jisung reels back, staring down at him in bewilderment. Felix has had a what on whom since when? _What?_

“You've had a what?” he croaks out.

Felix laughs, only this time it’s rather self-deprecating. He still refuses to look Jisung in the eye and he’s growing increasingly tenser in his arms although he refuses to break away from them.

“Maybe that’s not very – _cool_ of me to admit, but yeah. It wasn’t like a huge crush or anything. Not that you’re not worthy of a huge crush! Hell, I have a huge as fuck crush on you right now, if something as strong as my feelings can be called a crush. But I’d see you in my lectures a lot and I just thought you were really cute so I’d kinda… look out for you a bit. You know, sort of like you do when you’re in school and you have that tiny crush on your cute classmate? You were my uni version of that.”

Jisung can hardly believe what he’s hearing. It’s not like he doesn’t think Felix is attracted to him. The past month has proved that he pretty damn well is, after all. He just can’t comprehend the fact that he apparently was attracted to Jisung _before_ they properly met just by seeing him around campus.

“Me?” he chokes out. “You had a crush on _me?_ “

“Yes, you,” frowns Felix. He looks up to meet his eyes then, eyebrows pinched together in disapproval. “Why not you? Have you seen yourself? You’re, like, really fucking attractive, man. And don’t even think about saying you’re not, or that you’re unremarkable because trust me, you’re none of those things.”

“But – I didn’t think anyone noticed me. Not like that anyways.”

“I did,” Felix says quietly. “I always notice you.”

He’s said this once before to Jisung. Back in Chan’s party when Jisung was shocked that Felix knew his name and the other boy behaved as if it would be absurd if he didn’t. Back then, he didn’t realise to what extent Felix meant it.

Jisung blushes, a violent red that has him wanting to hide his face in embarrassment. But there’s nowhere for him to go, nothing else for him to do but admit, “I’ve always noticed you too. You said that I was the cute classmate you had a little crush on; well, you were mine. I don’t know if you remember this, but we were once in a group discussion together last year and you – “

“Got Silla and Baekje mixed up? Yeah, I remember. I was mortified for days afterwards, I kept whining to Seungmin about how stupid you must think I am.”

“I thought you were adorable,” he says. “You were so adamant you were right, it was really endearing to watch.”

“Oh my God,” he groans, burying his face into Jisung’s chest into embarrassment. “Fucking strike me down right now. I can’t believe I actually did that.”

“It was cute!” he insists.

“It was _embarrassing._ ”

Jisung tightens his arms around him. “I liked it. I liked you. I _like_ you.”

There’s a long silence, so long Jisung is half-concerned that Felix has smothered himself to unconsciousness with how deeply he’s dug his face into Jisung’s chest.

Then he says quietly, “’Like’ as in _like_ like or as in you just want to be friends who sleep with each other?”

“ _Felix.”_

“What? It’s a serious question!” He draws back to lift his head in defiance. “Because I can live with the second – hell knows I can’t keep my hands off you, so if that’s what you prefer than I can handle it, but I… I’d prefer the first. I want to be able to call you my boyfriend when I mention you to my mum. I want to gloat about our dates to Seungmin. I want to look at you and know you’re mine. That I’m yours. I want you to _like_ like me, not just… sort of like me.”

Really, he can’t help it when he laughs. It’s not meant maliciously in the slightest, but the passion with which Felix speaks to him, the picture that he paints in such broad strokes, is so at odds with the way he ends his speech that it’s almost comical. Felix scowls but doesn’t break away, only huffs in dismissal and turns his head.

Jisung lifts his hands to cup Felix’s face and encourage him to look his way again.

“Lee Felix,” he says, completely serious. There’s still a smile in his voice, but when is there not when he’s around Felix? “I’ve had a crush on you since our first semester in uni. And in this past month that we’ve gotten to know each other, that initial attraction has only gotten stronger and stronger. Sure, I like having sex with you. You already know that I’m physically attracted to you. Look at you, you’re the most beautiful person this campus has ever seen.

“But that’s not as far as it goes. I like you just as much when we’re not kissing. When we’re completely silent and all we’re doing is sitting next to each other while we go through our phones. When we’re on a video call and we end up talking until four am when we accidentally fall asleep on call and then I wake up the next morning to hear you snoring over the line. I like you when you’re grumpy because you haven’t had your coffee and when you’re annoying me because you don’t want to study for our midterms, even though they’re important. I _like_ like you and I want to be your boyfriend. Is that okay with you?”

Felix looks up at him, eyes starry and wondrous. All traces of his indignance have been wiped clean by Jisung’s words.

“That’s okay with me,” he whispers. “Fucking hell yeah, it's okay with me. And I know it’s early days yet, but Sungie… I really do like you. More than you know.”

Jisung offers him a smile. “Same here.”

Felix smiles back, toothy and broad, and it’s like the curve of his lips lights up the entire library. Like a little ray of sunlight is sheltered inside his body and radiates from his every pore, brighter than anything else in Seoul.

He pushes forward until he can kiss Jisung although it’s not a very successful kiss given how widely he’s smiling. Their teeth clash and snag on each other’s lips and then Felix laughs, high and happy. Jisung responds in kind, a chuckle bubbling out of his chest until they mingle together in the air above them.

“I’m going to boyfriend you so hard, Han Jisung,” Felix promises him. “From this moment onwards, you _will_ be romanced.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he says honestly.

Hand-in-hand, they exit the aisle much later than they mean to, only to run into Jeongin. He takes one look at the state of Jisung, one look at the boy next to him, and smirks. “You must be Felix.”

“That would be me,” he confirms. He still hasn’t stopped smiling. “Nice to meet you…”

“Jeongin,” he supplies. “Yang Jeongin. I’m Hyunjin’s younger brother and Jisung’s friend.”

“And a menace,” Jisung can’t help but add.

Just to prove his point, Jeongin sends him a sweet smile. “So what were you two doing in the Catering section? I didn’t know Jisung knows how to cook.”

“Maybe I’ve decided to learn.”

“That must’ve been some lesson you had in there,” he says with a low whistle.

Jisung blushes furiously. He loves Jeongin, he honestly does, but he does not need to be teased mercilessly by him today. And make no mistake, teasing someone mercilessly is Jeongin’s favourite pastime when it comes to his friends.

Jisung doesn’t say anything, deciding that staying quiet is the best way to get him to go away so he can continue to be in honeymoon bliss with Felix.

Apparently Felix is not so inclined because he looks directly into Jeongin’s eyes and says, “We were making out against the bookshelves. We might’ve gone further, but I’ve decided that the only person I want to see Sungie in that position is me so I can’t risk anyone finding us in the middle of something like that. It’s a good thing you came when you did though because if you walked over thirty seconds earlier, you probably would’ve walked in on something you’d rather not have seen.”

Jisung chokes.

Jeongin turns bright red.

Felix smiles, satisfied.

“This is a _library_ ,” Jeongin whispers, horrified.

“Excellent observation skills, Hyunjin’s brother,” Felix says. “You’re right, this _is_ a library and a big one too. It’s the perfect place for people like us to do whatever we want to get up to.”

By the time he’s finished talking, Jeongin looks like he wants to bleach his brain. He throws them a stricken look and starts to back away, his hands held out in front of him as if to ward them away should they follow.

“You two are absolutely vile.”

“Nope,” Jisung says, looping an arm around Felix’s waist and pulling him close. “We’re dating.”

If anything, that statement just makes him back away even quicker. They watch in amusement as he stumbles away, running around the corner of an aisle halfway across the room and disappearing from view. When they’re sure he’s gone, Felix turns to Jisung, his head cocked to one side.

“Cute kid. Good looks must run in their family.”

Jisung pouts and pokes his stomach playfully. “Hey. No thinking about how good looking my friends are.”

“None of them are as cute as you, of course,” he says promptly, slinking his arms around Jisung’s waist. He presses a fond kiss to Jisung’s cheek. “You’re my little baby quokka. The cutest animal in the world.”

“Now you’re just taking the piss.”

“Only a little,” he says cheerfully and pecks his mouth. “C’mon, let’s go and finish off studying. I’ll tell you all about how cute I find you afterwards, alright?”

“Alright,” Jisung concedes with a resigned sigh.

They really _do_ need to carry on with their studying. Midterms are on their ass and it’s not a pretty time for any student. Especially now that they’re no longer in first year (since lecturers are apparently under the impression that second year can’t be second year if their students aren’t wishing for death by the end of their units).

But after they finish studying today, Jisung knows Felix will turn those expressive eyes on him as they drift out of the library and they’ll find themselves tangled up in someone’s bedsheets by the end of the hour. And maybe after they’re done, they’ll slip into the shower together and Felix will press a kiss to his mouth in between his giggles and Jisung will giggle right back at him, arms looped around his waist in a familiar hold. Between the water and the smiles and the gentle press of Felix’s hands rubbing shampoo into his hair, Jisung will relax against his body and finally know how to define what the two of them are.

He’s dating Lee Felix. And Lee Felix is dating him.

And though they aren’t there yet, he likes to think that one day they might just end up falling in love with each other. Who would’ve thought all it’d take was a spilled drink at a party Jisung never wanted to attend?

> **hyunjin (hwang):**
> 
> [14:20] innie told me u nearly shagged ur boyfriend in the library
> 
> [14:21] i mean, more power to u but
> 
> [14:21] !!!! BOYFRIEND????
> 
> [14:22] I FUCKING KNEW U COULDN’T DO ANYTHING CASUAL WITH FELIX, DIDN’T I FUCKING SAY SO
> 
> [14:23] but on a real note i’m v happy for u sungie, u guys are v cute together
> 
> [14:26] in completely unrelated news i just properly called things off with changbin so pls prepare some ben & jerries to comfort me tonight once ur back from felix's, i will defo need it lmao xxx

**Author's Note:**

> if anyone's wondering why i ended it on hyunjin's texts, it is bc changjin are a foil to jilix in this fic, even though i didn't fully go in on their dynamic. jilix have a good dynamic here regardless of their sleeping together and don't only do it whenever they're drunk + like to hang out outside of that which is why they ended up together for real whereas changjin are not the same. i wanted to contrast their two dynamics, even though i focused only on jilix here. i might do a changjin spin-off if people are interested, but i cannot make any promises :)
> 
> anyways as always let me know if you liked this or if you have any questions about my writing! and if you enjoy jilix, pls consider feeding the tag bc i myself am always desperate for more jilix fics. the ship doesn't get enough love [sobs]
> 
> [[twitter](https://twitter.com/thotforcsy)] | [[cc](https://curiouscat.me/jjasmine)]


End file.
